How did I get here?
I spent my entire adult life feeling so doubtful of myself and full of shame, that I was crippled by shyness whenever I felt any direct attention on me. The answer lay in partying for me - it gave me the confidence I so desperatley craved, and I was the life and soul….until the next day when I was back to struggling to speak up, hold any boundaries or not be tortured by the fear of what everyone thought of me.
I was so trapped by the fear of what others thought that I stayed exactly where I was for years. Too afraid to even speak up in front of two people or more - despite ending up in management positions! Picture: Beetroot red from head to toe, eyes streaming and hands shaking when trying to hold a meeting, let alone stepping even a toe outside of my comfort zone to figure out who I really was, underneath it all.
It was torture.
What changed?
Quite honestly, I got sick and tired of my lack of confidence holding me back. Then, in July 2019 I quit drinking, and oh man if that didn’t force me to have to deal with this - no more crutch! I had started seeing a life coach around a year before this, and with her support and guidance, I began to really turn my life around and come back to my witchy ways.
Growing up in the Highlands of Scotland, I always felt a connection with nature, but it wasn't until I discovered the New Age section of the book shop 20 + years ago that my journey truly began. I still have those witchy and spiritual books that were my earliest guides, and have spent many years delving into and practicing many aspects of the spiritual - finding my true inner voice in the process.
Over the last 20 years, I've made mistakes, I've learned from them, I've practiced what I preach, and I've helped countless women build their self esteem.
I spent time working on overcoming my fears - and now I hold talks in front of large groups, host monthly workshops, have actual boundaries, speak up when I want to , without fear or the crippling shyness that was once my nemesis.
It became my mission to support others to transform their self belief too.
In a nutshell - I did the work, and committed to my craft. It wasn’t a linear journey, and it was a bumpy road, but I made progress. The work is continuous, but that feeling like you’re wading through mud does dissipate through the process, I promise.
‘Hands down, my biggest breakthrough must be the increase in my self-confidence and trust in myself. My major insight is that self belief has given me everything I have unknowingly looking for externally for most of my life’ - Joelle